Did I only deserve this 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃, Love to be in your Prayers to get More WORST ???????
If a person who loves someone without any reason and is constantly being wronged, and one day all of Sudden, if he says something or does something the same way he was wronged, Is he still a Good Person or is there now a bit bad in him?
I have been wondering the same thing and I am not getting any answer as that night changed everything for me, someone whom I thought was the closest, told me that I am not even worth to be called as Friend and her other Friends are Far more better than "ME". Of Course they will be as they are your Friends and they never loved you the way I love you.
The Story goes back to before I even thought of Loving her, I was living a very normal life and I had no Intentions to fall in love with anyone as I know there is No love written in my life.
I still remember, when I broke up the last time my friends suggested me and said be careful here in this world of Love, care and Affection. They'd said that you are a foolish person and you easily fall in love with a girl who unintentionally comes close to you.
As much as you want to be Loved and your passion towards someone when you start loving her, will never be respected or appreciated. As you will always be Wronged by someone.
And, I always thought that it's not the case not everyone is so selfish and in this world there will be people who will appreciate things which we do for them,
or care for them. May be I was wrong.
As my life was going normal, I meet a girl.
A girl who is mad, Crazy, Stupid and many other things which I thought and inspite of the fact that I never wanted to fall in love with anyone.
I felt in love with her. Now the story begins, I started think about her and I started taking care of her (Directly or Indirectly). we started talking and exchanging msgs and I was falling more and more for her.
There comes a day when I decided to tell her that how much I love her, although she thought that I was drunk and I never meant anything I said. I told her sitting below her building that how much I love her and I mean it cause if she would have said yes, I would have called my mom and would have told her about her.
However she didn't say anything. And we both left.
While I was returning I was not able to forget the moment I have spent with her, not that we had anything but I loved the fact that she was sitting next to me and I had a chance to spent time with her.
See her and feel her presence beside me.
Days went and months passed, my love for her was not for wrong reason, I told her multiple times about how much I love her and she always ignored or changed the topic by saying "Bakwas maat karo"
Ever time I used to talk about how much I love her, she always spoke about the guy she was in love with which definitely used to hurt me still I never said anything never retaliate and did nothing.
Things were always the same however I knew I was and I am in love with her, and I couldn't do anything.
I started finding reason to talk to her so that I could spend more time with her. I know I was scared of losing her and I know that I will Die (not in reality however from Internally) if I ever Lose her.
One day things changed and we fought, it's not that we have never fought however this Fight went to a greater extent, and after that everything changed between us.
I was a Dead Man walking and that was the first time I came to know how much worst she wants or wishes for me :) :) :) :) :) :) :)
It was not for the first time she was rude with me, everytime we have fought she didn't even thought for a second and she always kept on blocking me from everywhere (Social media, her life and everywhere) which I am again blocked :) :) :) :) :) :) :)
I knew that I hold no value in her life and I also realised that there was someone else who was more important and now has become a Sweety for her.
If I really wanted or I was really as ASS I would have easily made things worse for her. However I thought do I really want to go to that level for someone I love.
The next day I wasn't expecting her in that park and when I saw her I didn't do anything, just looked at her and turned away. I feel she mistook my Love, silence as my weakness as she kept on insulting me, once she wanted to slap me and then she said that wants worst for me.
That night whatever I did, I was really Angry that must been the first time that I really thought to give her back and if I really wanted to show her that I will not always take bullshit from her, even she didn't stop and she kept on abusing me and just because I never wanted to hurt her or anyone I had no option by to hurt myself.
I really want to clap for her as I feel she has won, however has she? I always made sure that she is always respected in front of others and now she has got multiple names,
One of the name wherein she misunderstood us and she got furious and now for the same name which her "Sweety" has given she is very happy.
That's when I realised that NOT EVERYONE APPRECIATES GOD THINGS IN LIFE.
Now I really want to clap for her for what she did and for what she always said she was, doesn't seems to be all truth. However I feel we only clap when we want to appreciate someone's good work? Her best work for me was she wanted to Slap, She Abused me and the most amazing thing she could do for me or is doing currently "Praying for my WORST LIFE".
Her love gave me another HIGH, and I'd forgotten that in that state, mistakes are easy to make.
To the present day, I am living a life which no can see, I have promised myself that no one will ever see my reality, No one will ever come to know how much SAD I am and
what is going inside me, I am laughing, talking to people and yes, no one is able to see what is going inside me.
Now there is a Fight going inside me where I know I am dying everyday and I need to still pretend that everything is good and nothing has affected.
Now I am struggling to forget her and the more I try the more my heart and my mind get all the moments spent with her, everytime I close my else in night. The first thing which come in front of my eyes is her Smile, her picture and my mole which is on her body.
I am trying to understand that what wrong did I do, was I wrong that I loved her without any reason, was I wrong that I cared for her and no matter how many times she has disrespected me and whenever I know she needs me I was there for her.
Today I am in a place that I have started hating myself, cause I loved her so much and never cared about my self respect. It's very easy for other so leave you alone to Die and then be with others and
Proving that you never existed and had any value in their life.
You always considered them to be a special person in your life however you were JUST A USELESS PERSON FOR THEM.
I wish I'd known that if mind works before heart, living is never difficult, I was thinking all this things when, my heart again took me to those days and my mind started running all the pics and videos in front of my eyes and reminded me that How much I love YOU !!!!!!!
I have been wondering the same thing and I am not getting any answer as that night changed everything for me, someone whom I thought was the closest, told me that I am not even worth to be called as Friend and her other Friends are Far more better than "ME". Of Course they will be as they are your Friends and they never loved you the way I love you.
The Story goes back to before I even thought of Loving her, I was living a very normal life and I had no Intentions to fall in love with anyone as I know there is No love written in my life.
I still remember, when I broke up the last time my friends suggested me and said be careful here in this world of Love, care and Affection. They'd said that you are a foolish person and you easily fall in love with a girl who unintentionally comes close to you.
As much as you want to be Loved and your passion towards someone when you start loving her, will never be respected or appreciated. As you will always be Wronged by someone.
And, I always thought that it's not the case not everyone is so selfish and in this world there will be people who will appreciate things which we do for them,
or care for them. May be I was wrong.
As my life was going normal, I meet a girl.
A girl who is mad, Crazy, Stupid and many other things which I thought and inspite of the fact that I never wanted to fall in love with anyone.
I felt in love with her. Now the story begins, I started think about her and I started taking care of her (Directly or Indirectly). we started talking and exchanging msgs and I was falling more and more for her.
There comes a day when I decided to tell her that how much I love her, although she thought that I was drunk and I never meant anything I said. I told her sitting below her building that how much I love her and I mean it cause if she would have said yes, I would have called my mom and would have told her about her.
However she didn't say anything. And we both left.
While I was returning I was not able to forget the moment I have spent with her, not that we had anything but I loved the fact that she was sitting next to me and I had a chance to spent time with her.
See her and feel her presence beside me.
Days went and months passed, my love for her was not for wrong reason, I told her multiple times about how much I love her and she always ignored or changed the topic by saying "Bakwas maat karo"
Ever time I used to talk about how much I love her, she always spoke about the guy she was in love with which definitely used to hurt me still I never said anything never retaliate and did nothing.
Things were always the same however I knew I was and I am in love with her, and I couldn't do anything.
I started finding reason to talk to her so that I could spend more time with her. I know I was scared of losing her and I know that I will Die (not in reality however from Internally) if I ever Lose her.
One day things changed and we fought, it's not that we have never fought however this Fight went to a greater extent, and after that everything changed between us.
I was a Dead Man walking and that was the first time I came to know how much worst she wants or wishes for me :) :) :) :) :) :) :)
It was not for the first time she was rude with me, everytime we have fought she didn't even thought for a second and she always kept on blocking me from everywhere (Social media, her life and everywhere) which I am again blocked :) :) :) :) :) :) :)
I knew that I hold no value in her life and I also realised that there was someone else who was more important and now has become a Sweety for her.
If I really wanted or I was really as ASS I would have easily made things worse for her. However I thought do I really want to go to that level for someone I love.
The next day I wasn't expecting her in that park and when I saw her I didn't do anything, just looked at her and turned away. I feel she mistook my Love, silence as my weakness as she kept on insulting me, once she wanted to slap me and then she said that wants worst for me.
That night whatever I did, I was really Angry that must been the first time that I really thought to give her back and if I really wanted to show her that I will not always take bullshit from her, even she didn't stop and she kept on abusing me and just because I never wanted to hurt her or anyone I had no option by to hurt myself.
I really want to clap for her as I feel she has won, however has she? I always made sure that she is always respected in front of others and now she has got multiple names,
One of the name wherein she misunderstood us and she got furious and now for the same name which her "Sweety" has given she is very happy.
That's when I realised that NOT EVERYONE APPRECIATES GOD THINGS IN LIFE.
Now I really want to clap for her for what she did and for what she always said she was, doesn't seems to be all truth. However I feel we only clap when we want to appreciate someone's good work? Her best work for me was she wanted to Slap, She Abused me and the most amazing thing she could do for me or is doing currently "Praying for my WORST LIFE".
Her love gave me another HIGH, and I'd forgotten that in that state, mistakes are easy to make.
To the present day, I am living a life which no can see, I have promised myself that no one will ever see my reality, No one will ever come to know how much SAD I am and
what is going inside me, I am laughing, talking to people and yes, no one is able to see what is going inside me.
Now there is a Fight going inside me where I know I am dying everyday and I need to still pretend that everything is good and nothing has affected.
Now I am struggling to forget her and the more I try the more my heart and my mind get all the moments spent with her, everytime I close my else in night. The first thing which come in front of my eyes is her Smile, her picture and my mole which is on her body.
I am trying to understand that what wrong did I do, was I wrong that I loved her without any reason, was I wrong that I cared for her and no matter how many times she has disrespected me and whenever I know she needs me I was there for her.
Today I am in a place that I have started hating myself, cause I loved her so much and never cared about my self respect. It's very easy for other so leave you alone to Die and then be with others and
Proving that you never existed and had any value in their life.
You always considered them to be a special person in your life however you were JUST A USELESS PERSON FOR THEM.
I wish I'd known that if mind works before heart, living is never difficult, I was thinking all this things when, my heart again took me to those days and my mind started running all the pics and videos in front of my eyes and reminded me that How much I love YOU !!!!!!!
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