Today I just want to go back….
I just want to go back and really want a
peaceful life… I am not angry with anyone, because now I need freedom..
Freedom from everything, maybe freedom from your
thoughts, freedom from your memories, freedom from sadness, freedom from this
life…
I want to know that what will you gain by
knowing how much I am hurt.. do you want to know what percentage of hurt you have
given me..
I don’t even remember who has contributed how
much in this pain, neither they will remember how much pain they gave me or
wanted to give me…
So, what will you get by knowing how much hurt I
am?
Now I am not scared of the dark nights, because
I sleep in the arms of lonely nights…
Now I fear the daylight, as the light shows me
the reality… and Now I don’t want to see anything … I Just want a peaceful
life…
I know you might me thinking that what is the
pain in your life.. but I don’t want to listen to these questions, I don’t want
to answer these questions..
Because I cannot explain you in words and you
will not be able to understand my silence… as it’s just that I don’t want to
think about who gave me how much and what sort of Pain
I am not a great writer or a poet neither I know
how to write a thematic poetry (Nazm)… I just write when I am not able to
understand myself…
I write when I am not able to express the
feelings to anyone.. I write then I get numb and am falling short of words to
say…. I just type it down my heart over a paper…
maybe you will like it, maybe you will feel its
all waste of time…
As I only write when I am not able to find my
own existence.. I only write when I am not able to Breath, when I feel suffocated..
the pain inside me doesn’t allow me to breath..
That is the time when I borrow some air to
breath from words and pen it down on a piece of paper…. Which I am not able to
say it to anyone…
I know it’s a weird thing as I only write when I
am not able to express or say it directly.. I want to hear something from you
but there is no sound from you…
I want to sleep but I don’t feel sleepy… I want
to cry but there are no tears left in my eyes… I really don’t know the rules of
writing the way the great writers express it…
I only write when I want to go away from myself,
I write only when I want to tell you how much I miss you, I write you when I
want you to know how much important you are for me…
I only write when I feel defeated by myself… I
just want to stay back… see you every day.. smiling, being happy, Dancing… I
just want a peaceful life..
I just want to Rest in Peace!!!!!!!
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