An unfinished conversation
My Heart: How
are you, it's been a long time you haven't spoken to yourself? If you are going
to say I am doing good then please don't try. Are you a bit loyal to yourself
or you don't have loyalty with yourself as well?
I am doing good!! Why are you
living this lie as though it is the truth?
Me: (Pretending to smile Replies to
heart) No-No, It's not like that
My Heart: Actually, I know you are angry, you
are angry with others, Angry on Her or him, for doing things and for not doing
things.
and these him or her have
multiple name. Out of which one of them is Her.
Correct? And you Love her the
most, correct?
Me: I am trying to find mistakes I have
made in my relationship, when I look back I see she also always tried to find
reasons to get rid of me. What is it that someone should do if they get
punished for a mistake which they didn't even do?
I don't want any sympathy, I am
not able to Cry, and Madness for her is still the same.
I am just trying to find a hope
in my shattered dreams, Just trying to fix it, however in the process of fixing
it I tend to break it by my own stupidity. The more I try to get close to her,
more the distance is increasing.
Its really funny as for others
I have everything, however when i see myself I am incomplete.
Everyday I get up and I feel
that may be today everything will be alright, May be today things will be
normal, I used to think may be today she will speak to me normally, and all my
dreams shatter into pieces as when i see she walking in front of me and
ignoring me as I am
No one to her and I am just a
dead person, I see how things changed from the best to worst.
(After a Long Pause)
Me to my Heart: What happened?
My Heart: Nothing, just listening, as I know
you are speaking to yourself after a long time and hence I am just listening. I
know that you want to say many things,
but you are not able to speak,
your mouth automatically gets shut, right?
I know you are living a life
when you are Dead from Inside and you are pretending to be happy and fun
loving, but till when do you think this will continue?
Do you even remember that when
was the last time you walked on street with a wide smile?
Me: Nope, I feel that my smile got used
to others presence. If you look at me from Far, I am like a stone full of
emotions, I am just trying to fulfil the doom inside me and the mundanity for
the outside world.
My Heart: Why don't you cry? You haven't cried
from a long time, till when are you going to keep the ocean of tears inside
you?
What is the thing, which is
stopping you, which is not allowing you to break even when you are all alone?
Me: (started laughing) I am sure I am
gone crazy; I have started talking to myself in Riddles. I guess I don't even
trust myself.
Ok, let's try this I will tell
you everything, everything which I feel through you and everything I think, as
I know you and mind are never in sync hence, I am the one who is suffering.
So, let's start .......
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